Jokes

Why British thinks that 80% of Malaysians are studying law at UK?


This is the reason why.



UK Immigration Officer: Purpose of visit?

Visitor: I'm here to study law, sir.

Officer: You know, you must have a lot of lawyers in Malaysia.

Visitor: Why do you say that?

Officer: Well, i've been here for a good twenty years, and I'd say 80% of Malaysians I see here say they're here to read law.

Visitor: Oh, really? That's really something i never knew. Hard to believe in fact.

Officer: Just you watch, then. You just stand here until the next Malaysian comes along, and I'll bet he's here to read law.

*Visitor waits for 5 minutes, Ah Chong from Malaysia comes to immigration counter*

Officer: Mr. Ah Chong, purpose of visit?

Ah Chong: Study lorr...

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The Pastor's Donkey

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.

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Family Problems

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.

One of them kept complaining of family problems.

Finally, the other man said:
"You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation."

"A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter.
We got married and got myself a stepdaughter.
Later, my father married my stepdaughter.
That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother.
And my father became my stepson.
Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law".

"Much later the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son.
This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son.
But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son.
That made me the grand-father of my half-brother."

"This was nothing until my wife and I had a Baby.
Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the Grandmother.
This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife, I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!"

"And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS!!!"